"D&J" Friendships

You might be asking yourself, "What in the world are D&J friendships?!" Well, read on my friend ...

After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return to his father's house. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt. (1 Samuel 18:1-4)

Wow! Do you have friends like that? Are you a friend like that?

I have a few friendships that embody the "David and Jonathan friendship" model ... not many, I can count them on one hand for sure, but those few that I have are surely a gift to me. I am writing this in part to honor them ... to thank God for them. I am not going to call them out because they know who they are ... this one is for you guys.

People who know me well, know that I like to take things slowly ... very, very slowly. (I may be cautious to a fault actually). These D&J friendships didn't happen overnight. They began in my early 20's ... and I think the reason that they have lasted until now is largely due to the fact that we have a common faith in Christ. The differences between us are glaringly bright at times—the words we use, our sense of humor, or lack thereof in certain situations:), where we were raised, where we are now, our marital status, kids, jobs, interests, hobbies, the list could go on and on. But God, in his grace, has bound us together like David and Jonathan.

I was talking to a D&J friend about this the other day and it made me think about practically how it works—because I am also hopelessly practical! But in the process of thinking this through, what was it about David that made Jonathan "love him as he loved himself"? Here is Jonathan, King Saul's son, rightful heir to the throne by his very birth, and he becomes fast friends with David, who was chosen, not by birthright but by God, to be the next King. That meant that Jonathan would not take his rightful place on the throne as the king of Israel ... and he was ok with that! And not only was he ok with it, he gave David his "soldier clothes"—his robe, tunic, sword, bow and belt. He was more than ok with it, he was going to be sure that he did his part to make it happen! (Some of this is revealed later in 1 Samuel 23). Wow! But why? I think Scripture is pretty clear as you read the whole account that Jonathan's deep, committed faith in God was the foundation that he needed to be a faithful friend to David and vice-versa.

As I reflect on my own D&J relationships, I see the same principles at work ... commitment—to God and his word, to serving rather than being served, to being honest even when it's difficult, to know and to be known even when it's scary, to confront, to encourage, and to forgive when things go bad ... this is what ultimately defines a true D&J friendship and it also defines Jesus and his friendship with us.

I am thankful for my D&J friends who walk out their faith in Christ and point me back to him when I need it the most. God has used them in immeasurable ways in my life ... and I am thankful.